Groom's demand... Not a good idea?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ☠Raquel's Photography☠ on October 19, 2010 at 5:30am

i would tell them thats not going to happen and if they dont like then they need to find another photographer!!! dont let clients run you over and take credit for something they didnt do and trust it will happen from time to time but if you dont stand your ground about want you want to then slowly but surley you wont enjoy what you enjoy doing most right now.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Hawkins on October 19, 2010 at 7:02am

Yeah, I rather have the full control, especially the creative control with the pictures. I mean that what Im hired to do- do all the work and hand in the final photos, right? If they dont like my style of work, then why are they hiring me? Its first time a client came to me with this "demand". So I wasnt sure how to handle or react to it.

Last night, I took my time and wrote bride an email and explained my concern and have talked to other fellow photographers about it, they all have same feedbacks as you do.... Not good idea and walk away from the deal. I even explained why its not happening, and suggest her and the groom to really sit down and look at my work again and think about it. If they are comfortable and love my work, then they have to let me do the full work of photography. If not, find someone else to do it. Hopefully they are understanding and willing to change their mind. Especially that they are so broke with budge for wedding and I know the price I charge them is the price they couldnt find anywhere else. Hopefully itll work out both sides. If not, their loss.

Permalink Reply by Bill Dobbs on October 19, 2010 at 5:31pm

I totally agree with what you have been advised and how you're feeling about it. Another thing to think about is his control issues; this could come out at the wedding too, that is he may want to control you doing your job at the wedding too. There is no money that would cause any of us to subvert our principles. What he is asking you to do is be unprofessional.
Have you suggested they enlist an uncle with a p&s?
Good luck. I'd be interested in finding out how this turns out.
Oh, one other thing, it could be the bride that wants the control, you never know.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Hawkins on October 19, 2010 at 8:19pm

Actually the bride mentioned the groom's uncle gonna do photo shoot of their wedding, til she saw my work and made some changes and wanted me to do most of the work. She said that the uncle is a photographer in military and mentioned he did engagement pics of the couple. And said it was really good. I got the impression that hes really professional, ya know, clear and sharp shots and such especially that hes did photography in military. Til I saw his work. Its completely the opposite. I hate to say negative or put somebody down, but that work I saw of engagement was a nightmare. Only 2 or 3 really cute ones out of 500. She even mentioned that the groom and she edited the pictures... It look like it havent been touched...? And you could definitely tell that the few shots were pretty much lucky shots, ya know what I mean? So for me, I still offer to do it, only if they will let me, I mean they love my work, isnt that why they hired me? They gotta let me do all the work and put their faith and trust in me.

And I was told by the bride that she wants me to find her on Facebook and add her on. Of course, I didnt... Only because Im not comfortable to include clients into my personal life. But I decided to look up the groom on Facebook to see what he look like and what kind of person he is. Turns out hes not.... well, quite attractive. My mom said it may be why he wants the control over the pics to make himself look good. I disagree because he has plenty of pics of himself on his profile which is set to public. I reminded her that they are mormon... I dont want to use discrimination or use stereotype... I do have my few friends that are mormons... Just that the mormon men tend to be very controlling, alot of them that I know. This bride is super sweet and sort of naive.

I havent hear from her or the groom, yet. But I texted her that I sent her an email. So we will see how that goes.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Hawkins on October 19, 2010 at 8:45pm

P.S. I definitely dont want to sound snob in the last message. It just that the impression I got about the uncle and it threw me off completely. I am still shy and not 100% confident with my work, yet Im still doing it because I really love it and its the passion I have, I love the beauty in everything. I only want what is best for the clients and makes them happy and of course they deserve to be satisfied with the photos....

Permalink Reply by Bill Dobbs on October 20, 2010 at 6:08pm

The warning horns are blowing loudly. Without knowing the whole situation I can't say with 100% certainty that this will work out well or not. What I have read from you so far leads me to think you should bail on this one because it looks like a train wreck about to happen.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Hawkins on October 20, 2010 at 11:17pm

That what everybody says, youre not only one.... They all said same thing- walk away from this deal. They said if I feel something in my guts thats not right, I should follow it. I want to bail out on them. At same time, Im softie and dont want to be kind of mean to do something like this. So I already gave them chance to think it over... Either my way or bye-bye. Thats the nice way I could do. We will see... But honestly, Im more lean toward of walking away with another reason- im not comfortable being part of the wedding plans of Mormon's traditions, they have like 3 or 4 different rituals/ceremonies thru the day, two of them I have to stand outside for an hour and another up to 2 hrs only because Im not mormon and photos are not allowed inside the temple. So that would be really uncomfortable/awkward for me as a photographer.

Permalink Reply by Matt Needham on October 21, 2010 at 5:47am

You don't need to justify the way you create photographs. No one who cares about their photographs would feel good about releasing unfinished work.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Hawkins on October 21, 2010 at 12:47pm

That what I felt with my work... as a photographer- no one can control my work and my creativity. You gotta either love or hate it, thats only way it works. Thats my thought. Just like any artist, singer, actors, dancers, many others.

Permalink Reply by Matt Needham on October 21, 2010 at 5:44am

You can make a separate FB page for your business, and keep your personal account private. That's what I do. Look into "limited profile" too. That's a way to allow your friends to see your FB page while keeping the parts you choose private from people who insist on friending your personal account even though they are not friends. Also works great for relatives who's politics don't jive with yours. :)

Permalink Reply by Sarah Hawkins on October 21, 2010 at 12:48pm

Ive tried to make a profile out of it. But it doesnt seem to work that way, so I ended up created a page for people to hit "Like" button, which seems to be whole lot easier. :)

Permalink Reply by Matt Needham on October 21, 2010 at 5:49am

You are correct. Advise the couple that you are not the right photographer for them, and move on. Don't try to convince him. Don't try to make a deal. It'll be a pain in the butt later. Just politely explain that's not the way you (or the vast majority of pro photogs) operate. It sucks to turn down business, but everyone has to do it sometimes. If they decide to go with you and do it your way make sure everything is clear and in writing on the contract. If it seems like the groom is only grudgingly going along I would decline to photograph the wedding. If it's that important to him he should try to find a photographer that matches. Good luck on that. ;)

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