Farewell my Friend...........

Update........October 6th, 1960..........July 30th, 2008

REST IN PEACE MY BROTHER......your passing has left a painful void in my heart......but the memories will always be there to fill that emptiness in my soul.

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I forged a friendship with Desmond O'Brien back in 1965. We were kindergarteners. He lived on one side of town, I, the other. We would meet halfway at the tracks and for 43 years, we grew together as Brothers. Growing up, we were inseparable. Our Families melded and spent holidays and countless summer vacations together as a unit. Desmond was my Best Man and I, his. He is my Lynny's Godfather. He is my Best Friend. The memories. The good times and the laughter. The bad times and the tears. If I had to go through it, so did he.

17 years ago, Doctors gave him 6 months to live, not quite long enough for him to see his first born take her 1st steps, when an inoperable brain tumor was found. The world came crumbling down on Desmond, his Wife, and his new family. However, he was not about to go down without a fight. New Doctors, new treatments, new therapies, new medications, a strong spiritual soul and an even stronger will to survive kept him strong. The "year" went by, and then 5, and eventually to the present. The tumor came and went over the years. Twice they removed as much of the regrown tumor they could as time and advancements in medicine made it possible for surgical intervention. Complications from his condition kept him in and out of medical facilities for the most part. A brain hemorrhage and a stroke 5 yrs ago turned his battle into a struggle to survive. Last week, doctors found that the tumor not only doubled in size over a few weeks, but an additional growth half the size of the original, was found on the opposite hemisphere. As a last ditch effort, he will undergo the most aggressive course of Chemotherapy that he has ever endured with absolutely no guarantees.

This morning, I visited my friend. He seemed to be in pain. His body twisted and thin. His eyes were closed. I bent down and said "Hey Poppy" and kissed him on his forehead. His eyes opened and he reached for my hand. As sick as he is, he still managed to get a good grip. I asked him how he was feeling and his reply was simply "I'm dying".

I sat with Desmond for over an hour. Did most of the talking. Talked about our families, our losses, our memories of growing up. Talked in length about our friendship. Held his hand in mine. Cried a few times in harmony. As I was preparing to leave, I gave Desmond a picture of Him and I taken 30 years ago. He held it close and focused on it and then kissed it and held it to his chest directly over his heart. As I bent down to kiss him goodbye, his arm came up around me and pulled me in for a hug as strong as any hug I've ever had. He then whispered to me in his tired voice "I'll pass that kiss on to your old man." (referring to my Father who passed on 14 years ago).

Desmond saw his 1st born graduate High School and fathered 2 more beautiful children as well.

I said goodbye to my Best Friend today.

Tags: des, desmond, obrien

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10 Comments

Comment by Natasha on May 20, 2008 at 6:13pm: thats quite a story. I'm sorry about your friend.

Comment by Shanna Mugge on May 20, 2008 at 6:38pm: Beautiful! What more can I say (...wiping away tears). I'm sorry for your loss!!

Comment by jadeast on May 20, 2008 at 8:27pm: Thank you for sharing your story. You're very fortunate to have had a lifelong friend like that, most of us don't.

Comment by Patti Haskins on May 20, 2008 at 11:37pm: Willy, that was such a touching letter, I hope your sadness for the loss of your friend soon turns again to fond recollections of those great times you shared in this life, Patti

Comment by Jeff on May 21, 2008 at 3:02am: Very touching Willy anda great tribute to a friend and a brother. Other then that there are no words I can offer to ease the loss you feel.

Comment by David Wollum on May 21, 2008 at 3:48am: Its easy to see the emotions you express are truly heartfelt. It almost seems unfair that at one point or another, we all have to say good bye. For your friend, that time has come... my condolences...

Comment by Trish on May 21, 2008 at 12:27pm: Willy so beautifully written so incredibly heartfelt, thank you for sharing with us, my thoughts and prayers to you all.

Comment by Elmer on July 11, 2008 at 4:59pm: Willy, with tears in my eyes I reply. Thanks for sharing this with us. Friends such as yours and Desmond come along rarely in our lives. To continue that friendship for so long is sweet. He endured for a very long time and its so great that you and he will meet again.

Comment by Patti Haskins on July 11, 2008 at 11:06pm: A friend of mine and her partner lived in a tiny cabin right on the banks of the San Lorenzo River, He was a boat builder and going blind from the tumor. She worked at odd jobs, they got by. They could not afford further treatment. He spent his time bring entertained by the flow of teenagers that traipsed through the crowded cabin. Good food was shared and the night he passed he was surrounded by pretty girls on their way to the prom they sat with him and visited as did many friends. She continued to live in the little cabin. A mudslide buried
many of the people in houses above the cabin . I saw her several years ago to my relief. Trees and branches fell on the cabins roof but she had been spared. People don't really leave you they just step outside the circle.

Comment by Patricia on July 31, 2008 at 6:28pm: Willy:
I cry with you as I read this final chapter of your friendship. Your remembrance is eloquent and obviously filled with grief. My deepest prayers to You, your wife and Lynny.